Confucius Itey (This Is Confusing)

*** taken from my old blog post. posted on 15-Jun-2012 ***

I already submitted a formal resignation letter this June 4^th and it will take effect on June 19^th, that means I’m just rendering 15 days prior to resignation. Ayoko kasi mag-render ng 30 days, antagal kaya nun. But I’m still undecided if I’m going to push through that or not. Ang gulo ko no?!

Well, simply because there are a lot of things running through my mind. First, I am leaving my work because my mother asked me to, but that will leave me unemployed for the time-being. On top of that, I will start from scratch again and will still be unsure if I can easily bump into an IT-related work because there's a great change of me getting hired as a call center agent, again! And that I really want to avoid because I have sworn to myself that I will never ever toil as an agent anymore! Never an option. My sister in fact recommended a possible job offer a couple of days ago and it seemed interesting, but of course, I can’t just depend on that. I have to give myself an option, multiple of it to be exact.
While on the other hand, if I will keep my work now that will look like I’m disregarding my mother since she will be left home alone. Certainly, I don’t want to do that, so I just thought of hiring a kasambahay for her to attend to her needs. And if I will stay with my current employer, there might be a possibility that I’ll get a promotion or be assigned to a certain position. But then I also thought, “Is that job offer worth it?”, “Will I really get that promotion or position soon enough? Or maybe not!" I must admit, I’m an ambitious person and I want the best for myself. Lahat naman siguro tayo. But there are times that I’m skeptical even in my own capabilities; I get easily conscious, thinking that there might be someone who’s way better than me, or perhaps the best. Just thinking about and looking at my credentials, it really is not enough to prove myself worthy. That’s why, if I were to ask on how I can sell myself to a company, baka wala akong maisagot. I would be speechless.

Once I have made my final decision, it could mean another 360⁰ turn in my life, knowing that either of the choices would also mean a lot of sacrifices. But I thought, just now, just this very moment, I still haven’t consulted HIM yet, seriously. I must talk to HIM. HE is the only one that could give me the answer, the answer that will break the choices; the answer that could avoid sacrifices; the only answer that would clear my mind and remove these anxieties that I’m now devouring.

I really don’t know why I’m stuck with this kind of predicament. Kakaiba kasi e. But maybe HE was just giving me a test. Kumbaga, kung sa eskwelahan pa eh ito na yung exam ng buhay ko. So whatever score I will get, that should be the result that I should accept. Kunsabagay, there’s nothing that could go wrong if you believe in HIM, ika nga, “trust HIM and you will be fine”.
But whatever happens, I should face it because everything has it's purpose.

image courtesy of Google

Hay buhay, parang life!