That’s what I am.
When it comes to decision-making,
about what I have achieved (or never achieved), everything that occurs, I always
have a negative reaction which has a bigger impact compared to those things
that, for others, is positive.
Like just now, as considered by
most people, the most wonderful time of the year. And I don’t have anything to
give to my godchildren and to my mom. #Nganga
I don’t even have something for
myself this time which made me feel more frustrated. It will then trigger me to
feel bad, feeling that I’m being deprived with the things that I wanted to
have. Then it will make me think why we’re not that wealthy enough to spend for
such things. Thinking of these fucking negative things will turn to me tears. Made
me crying. Made me pity myself, my life.
Asking God why. Why my life is
miserable.
This is the chain reaction of
negative thoughts and resentment.
I’m almost 30 and I still act
this way. I’m either a late-bloomer or immature.
I even thought of seeking
professional help. There could be something or a way that would convert me
being pessimistic to be an optimist.
Yes! This is who I am.
